Cold War

The Cold War was first fought between two opposing ideologies, and since then, countless miniature versions have been fought between parents and their teenagers, which were likewise another conflict of ideas. Well, I fought one just before the O's, and it looks like I'm fighting one again.

Since Monday, my father and I have refused to speak to each other, and only accept the other's presence as a formality. Why? Because he refused to accept me going to poly, reneging on a promise that he would support me wholeheartedly. Monday night, he kept badgering me about whether I could make the grade or not.

For those who know me well enough, I work best when people do NOT constantly question my confidence or my motivation. For those not in the know, let me tell you that it is one of the best ways to piss me off, that is, if you're cruisin' for a bruisin'. Why so? Well the simple fact is that the more others question me, the more I question myself, and I can be very self-critical, not exactly what others would think of me.


Anyway, back to my little story. Point is, my dad and I have been ignoring each other, even when we went down with a flu one after another. Well, my decision has been made. I like it this way. He doesn't bother about me, I couldn't give a rat's ass or a flying f*** about him. I LIKE IT. If he doesn't like me going to poly, I can still go overseas. I've been reading up on some high schools overseas, and it seems that I qualify to go overseas to study, if I can get my visa approved. All I need now is for that one catalyst, that one spark that will set off an inferno. That one domino that will set off a chain of events that would lead to me leaving Singapore for a foreign shore. ALONE. I don't give a shit if my dad goes berserk over it. All that gives me is what he owes me. Years of freedom. Oh, and he still owes me money. And if he wants to keep me here, he's gonna have to bloody well find me.

Rockabilly Revival

An update on my life in general. Since SAJC is beginning to turn away 9-pointers, I guess that little-ole-me has no chance whatsoever of getting anything outta this. *Sigh* After all the things I've done for this crapheap they call an educational institution this is what they do to me? Oh well, gotta hold my head up high and walk on. To all my friends, no matter whether you know me as a school friend, a SuperTeen friend, or in any other relation, like drama, debates and speech competitions, if you've made it to SA, my heartiest congratulations to you all. You've done better than I did, and probably deserved it more than me. Yes, I'm talking to you, Rahman, Samuel Stephens, Veerababu, Cheney, Levin, Erica, Felissa Lim, and any others I might've missed out. But I will see you all again one day. I promise you that. Now then, MOVING ON!

I'm going back to my old roots. Rockabilly and Country music is the way for me, along with Greasers, Rockers, Cowboys, chopped bikes, aviators, leather jackets, Stetsons, boots, brass knucks, switchblades and the rest of that culture. I will occasionally put in new songs for my collection, but I wish to first ground myself in the rockabilly ways. CCR, Elvis, Cash, and all the rest. A new direction. Another Earthquake.

I will see you again, on the 10th. 17+1+1, I Love You. But it's now up to you, to say if you love me too.

February Song

Where has that old friend gone
Lost in a February song
Tell him it won't be long
Til he opens his eyes, opens his eyes

Where is that simple day
Before colors broke into shades
And how did I ever fade
Into this life, into this life

And I never want to let you down
Forgive me if I slip away
When all that I've known is lost and found
I promise you I, I'll come back to you one day

Morning is waking up
And sometimes it's more than just enough
When all that you need to love
Is in front of your eyes
It's in front of your eyes

And I never want to let you down
Forgive me if I slip away
Sometimes it's hard to find the ground
Cause I keep on falling as I try to get away
From this crazy world

And I never want to let you down
Forgive me if I slip away
When all that I've known is lost and found
I promise you I, I'll come back to you one day

Where has that old friend gone
Lost in a February song
Tell him it won't be long
Til he opens his eyes
Opens his eyes.

24 Hours, Or So

In a day's time it's Valentine's Day. A Hallmark holiday marked by the giving of flowers, cards, chocolates, and other interesting gifts. In my case, just a card, I think. I'm stuffing all money into the bank, to be removed at a later date. My friends are all on hiatus, I believe. Most have not updated their blogs or talked to me too much. Not exactly the best way to maintain friendships, but I guess it will continues like this for a while. I wonder where I'm headed? I guess my ultimate fate is in someone else's Hands, for now. Not the way I planned it. But still, it's my choice, now I must live with it. I guess now all I can do is write about it.

1 Necklace, 17 Flowers, 17 Candles, 1 Love,
forever yours.