Monday, 12 November 2007

The Last Ten Years, And A Dash of Vitriol.

Alright, this day concludes another chapter in my life. Ten years of putting up with the damned Singapore education system. May they all burn in hell. Yes, them, the great collective used for all MOE personnel who have managed to piss me off in any small way I know. But it's been fun. I have so many fond memories of my school, and my friends, who would probably recall me having made this comment: I hate the system, but I love the school. Well, that statement still rings true. Those imbecilic, Machiavellian tyrants sitting away on their golden toilets, the fools who dreamed up such a moronic rote system of learning, can go to F*cking Blazes! I'm sure they will be welcome there, for ruining the lives of so many people. To those significant few, the ones who have really made a difference in my life, you have won my begrudging respect, and even admiration.

Now then, on to my vitriolic rant about the schools I have attended.

The many moronic, stupid, egotistical punks. The loud-mouthed twits running around school thinking you are the damn bloody kings of the school. Yes, all the bengs, gangsters, gangster-wannabes, and 65% of the normal stream. That's in reference to YOU. Oh, and some Sec 5s. Wow, you guys think you are very big and tough and can act like bloody samsengs whenever you want, right? Well, truth be told, you guys are what normal, law-abiding students call the scum of society. The low-classed, half-assed dimwits. We don't care how many packs of cigarettes you smoke daily, how many fights you've gotten into, how much beer you've drunk, how many days you've skipped, etc. etc. What we do realize is that you are driving yourselves into an early, and deserving grave. But today, I thankfully wash my hands of all of you, may you all end up dead in some drain somewhere with a knife or two(million) stuck in your ever-slouching backs, and please invite me to your funerals, where I shall tap dance gleefully on your graves.
To that obese, ignorant, stuttering and horrendously unattractive hippopotamus called Marcus and the rest of the pretentious lot he calls his class and his friends( with a few notable exceptions), may you all go to whatever institute of higher learning you never want to go, and realize ain't nobody gonna spoon-feed you no more. May you all be failures in life. May you all marry monkeys who look like Tristan, or marry gays like Goh mah seng. May you end up in the lowest bowels of hell, like its armpit or its arsehole. I'll laugh. Oh, and Marcus? Your breath STINKS.
The few numbskulled twits of my class that hates my guts, I DON'T GIVE A FLYING F*CK. You crack horrible jokes, mangle the English language every chance you get, and like making even more incredibly stupid jokes out of everything and expecting everyone to laugh. You guys can be a very insensitive, boorish and narcissistic lot, and I feel that's all really gonna help you in the world. I once again wash my hands of you, and hope that you may all drop dead sooner rather than later, thereby ridding this world of a few hyperactive, childish miscreants.
Science A(again, with a few notable exceptions), you miserable petit-bourgeois cretins are all pretentious snobs. You don't have the balls to be counted as men, so don't try and contradict. Lemme guess... too good for this school, eh? Should be in RI or AC, right? F*cking Gits. Your parents were never married. Yes, I'm calling you bastards. Bastards, bastards, bastards. Throw in lousy, no-good, two-bit, pretentious, twerpy, egotistic, vile, stupid, fat-headed, reverse-bowelled, penis-deficient, estrogen-pumped revolting little turds while we're at it. Goodbye and Good Riddance To Bad Rubbish.

Thus ends this epic rant. For all those who I may have offended, please post a comment if you want this deleted. I will obligingly grin, delete your comment, and laugh my arse off. Oh dear, I almost forgot, you can post on your own blogs and insult me to your bleeding, emo-minuscule heart's content. You may even want to angst in a corner about this, or even cut yourself, get slapped by paramedics, nurses, and the doctor on duty, then die of an OD and become an hero. Go on. I Don't Care. You'd be doing us all a favour.

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