Fluctuations And Other Obscenities

A Chinaman walks into a restaurant and orders some food. After the meal, he looks at the bill and asks why it is so expensive this week when last week he paid 20% less for the same dishes. The waiter replies:" Fluctuations", to which the Chinaman replies, "Fluck you too."

A Jew says to a Chinaman:" Hey you chink, stop squinting!" The Chinaman replies," Hey, it's your fault, Jew, you sold me these cheap glasses!"

This ends my little presentation. Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.

Prices are going down, and portions are going up. Oh, wait, that's the other way around. Ah well. Guess it will do me good to eat less than eight meals a day. Yeah, I used to eat breakfast, a mid-morning snack, brunch, lunch, an afternoon nibble, tea, dinner, coffee and finally, supper. Oh, and add in various miscellaneous bites of this and that when I'm feeling peckish. So yeah, I'm just your average ordinary everyday polar bear...err, I meant teenager.

Exams have ended. I might do well. Pigs might fly. Whales might walk. Aliens might exist. I might stop cracking racist and dirty jokes. Yeah, like that's ever gonna happen.

My holidays are until the 12th of October. Yep, read it and weep, buddies. 12th October. Bloody hell, that's a lot of time on my hands. Time to start getting of my arse and getting a good job. As a chef. Yeah, that's an idea. Poison people with too much sugar, milk, cream, salt, eggs, pepper and other ingredients and condiments. Oh, and salad. Wait, what? AAAAAH! Think junk food! JUNK FOOD! CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM WITH VANILLA CREAM CHOC CHIPS COOKIES CHOC SAUCE PEANUT BUTTER STRAWBERRY CREAM ICING APPLE CRUMBLE CHEESECAKE AND A BIG FROTHY MUG OF COFFEE WITH FULL FAT MILK SUGAR SOLUTION CHOC SAUCE TOPPED WITH WHIPPED CREAM SUGAR GLAZING AND A CHERRY ON TOP! Yes, much better now.

Y'know, most if not all the nice girls I know have gone to or are in other countries, are attached, or very uptight about getting attached. Was there never a tale of more woe, than Juliet, and searching desperately for her, Romeo?

But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun! Arise, fair sun, and slay the envious moon. It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. - From "Romeo and Juliet, Act 2 Scene 2"

Yeah, and I wrote all that without referring to my copy of R&J. Jolly well done, old boy! Good form and all that. My literature skills might be dormant, but they sure as heck still exist. That's comforting.

Moving on, my plans for the holidays, in no particular order.

1. Get The Girl.
2. Get my JJ-ness back.
3. Get a job.
4. Get money.
5. Get lots of fun.
6. Get fit.
7. Get ready to rock 'n roll.

Here's To Fast Cars, Freedom and Jiahui!

It Ain't Over Til It's Over, And It Ain't Over Yet

Yeah, I know. Title's a real mouthful, ain't it? But hey, it reflects life at the moment. Crisis points have been reached, and they are passing. I am growing stronger and more confident. I like my class much better now. I still want to change course. I wanna rock!

Business is about to pick up. I am reaching the end of the semester. Crunch time. The day of reckoning. Blah blah blah and all that horseshit. I have projects unfinished. I have no classes on Monday. I have much more to say, and not much is related to school.

FFB team has been set. That's right, I ain't a free agent no more. Yessir, I'm a team player now. No more lone wolf, cos I'm running with the pack! I have no idea of the team name, but I'm fully confident of its players. We have the meanest defense this side of Ngee Ann, and I'm their newest addition! Clear The Way!

I finally convinced my dad that I should change course. Now he's all for it, but he ain't as sure that FSV will be a good option. He leans more towards another engineering discipline, due to his belief that engineering builds discipline and trains thought process. I think he's right, but thing is, I don' t want to be an engineer. I want to be something else. This is not my call. It may be a stepping stone, but not a call. I'm sure that there will be further developments, so I must try to keep this blog updated. Moving on!

My school library really needs to wake up. I mean, half the movies I've already seen, and quite a chunk of the music is either boring John Lemon crap, U2 soundalikes, emo piss-shit, and some obscure stuff nobody, not even me, has ever heard of. And a third of their listed available movies are missing or damaged. That really is a shame, y'know? Just when I want to see a good movie, it ain't there. Oh well. Such is life.

National Day's on Friday. Oh, wait, BRYAN says it's on Friday. Not me. Geez, that guy must never read the newspapers, watch TV, check his watch or his phone. Anyway, I'll be going back to my alma mater. Saint Andrew's. Gee, just saying alma mater makes me feel like some old man. Hmm, I shall go back and piss all the sec ones off by telling them how in my day we actually used ink on paper.........actually had to write notes, actually had to queue up in the canteen.......okay, enough with all that old fart nonsense. Little hand says it's time to rock 'n roll.